With all the discussion about politics and the economy going on with the election coming up soon and also more specifically on campus with the visit of this Star lady that speaks against the welfare system, I wanted to put my sociological two cents in. Let me start this out by saying that yes, I identify more strongly with the democratic party than the republican, but I am not a

I’ve been trying to repeat this to myself over and over again these past few days, weeks, months, to subdue this stress and anxiety I have as I creep closer and closer to trying to get to graduation, student loan repayments, job searching, and just life after college I guess. It just sounds so simple, TOO simple, to say “Things will work out. You’ll be fine.”. I just… it’s not happening for me, at least in my head, and it’s making me so nervous that I have a constant feeling of either extreme hunger, or complete disgust of food to the point I feel like I might hurl at any moment. I can’t concentrate on the task at hand because I feel like there’s so much to do. And it doesn’t help how dismissive people can be. I try not to act depressed, or angry, or tired, but i know myself, and I know how close I am to my breaking point right now. I even tried to sign up for counseling but the form was 10 pages long and just stressed me out even more. I just feel like there’s a heaviness on my chest that won’t let up. I hate crying and feeling sorry for myself, letting myself feel sorry for myself, when there’s so many people that i’m sure would love to be where I am right now. That just adds to me feeling selfish on top of my pre-existing anxiety. What am I supposed to do?

So I’ve been natural for about ummm *looks at watch* 4 and a half years, but I have the growth of someone that’s only been natural for about 2. I got frustrated that my hair stopped growing, so i starting raiding hair blogs to look for what I can do to grow it. I’m not AT ALL into organic stuff. I love preservatives and chemicals that I can’t pronounce or spell, so when I saw that people were using coconut oil, African clay and dinosaur dung to make their hair to flips and tricks, I was ready to give up. Then, I saw a post about a woman that just went back to the good ol’ fashioned hair grease that everybody tells you not to use because of the petroleum and mineral oil that supposedly will halt hair growth because of clogged pores. So, naturally, I went out and bought some within the same hour. 

Used it on a twist out and LOVED the twist-out. it felt soooo soft, not crunchy or woolly or anything. my hair styles never stay for longer than 2 days before they get deathly frizzy, but this time using the grease I was able to go a week without washing my hair. After 3 weeks of doing the grease twist-outs my hair, no lie, has grown half an inch. that’s the most growth I’ve seen in months, all in THREE WEEKS! Well needless to say, i’m gonna keep this up and see where my hair will end up by the time i graduate. if I can get a good 3 inches in I’m gonna do the worlds biggest happy dance. Even if it doesn’t grow, just having it as a styling and moisture protecting tool is a God send. Naturals, do what’s best for YOUR hair and stop spending all of your hard earned cash on all these puddings and creams to make your hair look like you’re puerto rican. For the first 2 years of my hair journey I was obsessed with making my hair do what it’s not meant to do. Now that I’ve just accepted it i’m getting more growth and style options than I had even with relaxed hair. Good luck on your hair journeys ladies! 

I have a BAAAADDDD case of senioritis. It feels like from the SECOND I put this ring on my finger, all of my desire to put effort into my school work just dropped 98%. I had to Q drop a class (now out of q drops for the remainder of my college career), quit NAACP… i’m just a mess. Maybe it’s cuz i bit off more than I could chew. 18 hours of classes, 25 hours a week of work, president of my chapter and trying to be ass. secretary of NAACP was not just a realistic goal for one semester. At least not for me. So alas… because of the Q drop, I will have to push my graduation back to August (December if I can’t find a way to get $1500 by May). There are only 2 weeks left of the semester, and although this should be motivation to just get this mess out of the way, I’m just so… BLAH right now about finishing my work. For instance, this week I have a test, 2 research papers, and 4 response papers due. What have I done towards finishing all of this? absolutely nothing. I’m literally sitting on my ass all day wasting valuable time. I’m just sooo over this. I don’t know why I’m even THINKING about grad school right now.

I know I’ve spoken about this before, but if you get financial aid, especially grants and scholarships, you should recognize your blessings and thank God every day you don’t have to graduate with all the debt I have. Shit… fuckin financial aid office wont even LOAN me any money so I can take summer school and get out this bitch… I’m just annoyed by all of it, but it’s whatever. I just really need to get a move on this school work so my graduation date isn’t pushed even FURTHER back. 

Peace.

*edit*

BTW I’ve been adding hair grease into my routine, yes GREASE! I haven’t used it since… wow. lol yeah. I didn’t even want to use it when i had a relaxer, so lets just take it from there, so about 7 years maybe? Anyway, it’s been a couple of weeks and I must say, I LOVE IT! My hair is actually retaining more length and thickness. It’s not breaking as much and it just feels better. I don’t have to wash it as often. I sometimes don’t like it when it gets TOO greasy, but i’ll take it. So I’ll just post my new hair care routine in case anybody wants to know.

Shampoo: Suave Almond and Shea butter shampoo

Conditioner: Suave Almond and Shea Butter Conditioner

Detangle hair in the shower with conditioner still in. I don’t rinse the conditioner EVER.

After the shower, I put in my Africa’s Best Herbal Oil, and sometimes my Just for Me detangler if my hair needs it.

Section my hair and apply grease as needed, especially to the ends. Comb through to distribute with a wide tooth comb and twist into 8-10 sections throughout my hair. (I apply grease section by section. Not all at once throughout my hair. I ifind that combing my whole head of hair with grease in it is kind of a hassle).

I sleep on a satin pillowcase and that’s it! Untwist and fluff in the morning!